BUY MY WINDOWS

I HAVE A SONG IN MY HEAD. and it's making want to claw my face to get it out, and it needs to leave, I'm so tempted to like, cut my face and make it bleed out. Or pass out, whichever comes first.
- imagine me clawing my face whilst singing "IT'S COMING HOME, IT'S COMING HOME, IT'S COMING, FOOTBALLS COMING HOME" cause that is actually what's happening right now. -
I have noticed that adverts are annoying me a lot more recently, infact, they annoy me so much, I'm going to act one out for you.

-Me on the sofa, not really paying attention, staring off into space.-

-Man jumps from the side of my TV screen-

"BAM! HEY THERE, I'M HERE TO SHOVE UNNECESSARY INFORMATION DOWN YOUR THROAT ABOUT HOW OUR WINDOWS ARE CHEAPER THAN THE PEOPLE WITH A BIRD LOGO! YOU SHOULD GET OUR WINDOWS BECAUSE WHO KNOWS WHEN A RHINOCEROS BEING RIDDEN BY A VELOCIRAPTOR COULD SOAR IN THROUGH YOUR OLD WINDOW AND MAKE GLASS FLY EVERYWHERE AND PIERCE YOUR EYES AND MAKE YOU CRY IN A POOL OF YOUR OWN BLOOD AS IT TEARS ABOUT YOUR HOUSE DRAWING SMILEY FACES ON THE WALLS AND LEAVING A TRAIL OF PEANUTS, WHICH IF YOU'RE ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS WOULD SUCK CAUSE YOU WOULD TOTALLY DIE. BUT YEAH, OUR WINDOWS STOP ALL THAT, AND ONLY FOR £13,00000000 SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL DO IT, CALL NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!"

-By this point, I am curled up into a ball, hugging my legs, my eye twitching whilst muttering the words "evil rhino velociraptor creature" over and over again.-

Yeah. I know it pisses you off too, don't lie to me. But don't worry, it's okay, I put on a cape and killed all the people who come up with those awful advertisements, and if you don't believe me I'll send you a finger in the post. You're welcome.
Whilst I was typing all that my dog decided he was going to bite the wall... I'm not sure why. I think a beam of light hit it from the sun on the window [irony?] and his dog brain decided that it was an evil creature here to steal his soul and it would be better for everyone if he sat there and bit the wall.
My wall is covered in dog slobber now.
"Ohai dere, I'm a doggeh and I iz not all here. I be slightly stupidz, but it'z ok, cause all your soulz are belong to me."
Yeah, we're fucked.

HI, I'M BARRY FUCKING SCOTT, 

AND I'M HERE TO FUCKING 

RAPE YOUR FUCKING FACE. 

ALL YOUR SANITY ARE BELONG TO ME.

That's another one of those adverts that makes me want to kill. A bloodthirsty, murderous rage.

And that is a Velociraptor. Don't pretend you don't love it. Go on, pet it. He'll just nom your hand a face a little bit.

Does exactly what it says on the tin.

Make records that have more than one good song, the dinosaurs will slowly die, and I do believe no-one will cry, I'm just fucking glad I'm gonna be there to watch it fall, prehistoric music industry.

-Rosa-xo